Thursday, December 4, 2008

roar for me Pedro. sing for me David.

I just ate the sticker on my apple because my dumb ass wasn't paying attention. Damn you sweet and crunchy Fuji apples. I've been forgetting to breathe lately too.. I'll be sitting there working on something and then all of a sudden feel my pulse speed up and the dizziness set in and as I'm about to pass out I remind myself that the breathing is supposed to be KIND-of involuntary so I can stay alive. I'm on tilt. Not Balanced. Not Centered. I've been covered in this blanket of emotion, strong enough to take away your appetite, make you sleep less, your mind races as you feel this surge running through your body from a place in your soul you forgot existed. I wish I was talking about Love, and although I am fortunate to have it; I'm talking about stress. We all know it, we all have it, and we all hate it. The adverse physical effects that stress can put on the human body is a basic reminder of the power of the mind. Subsequently I've also developed this defeatist attitude over the past week about pretty much everything. A phase? Probably.. As the 'Tao of Pooh' and 'The Te of Piglet' might say, I'm being an 'Eeyore'. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about then check out those books (as with most reading, not to be taken beyond building a repertoire of ideas and perspectives on life to further our balance and worldly views). I need to get out of this funk.. I need to get out of it bad.

I wonder if my sub-conscious has put me in this mode to finish the work I need to do, as the impending Christmas time quickly heads our way its crunch time in RX camp, as well as me trying to finish all the other projects I'm currently working on. OR, I wonder if its just fatigue of the spirit which is making me this way, and its survival-optimism that is trying to find some purpose in feeling shitty. Or maybe its a cycle put into action by an outside force, kept in rotation by me, and only broken by me not being a shitty shit head (that made sense to me). Lets hope I figure it out soon. Maybe I need to make a 'life doesn't suck that bad' list.

A new song I've put together that we've jammed out a little is kind of cool.. Its a nod to an older RX style of Police style rock, with a full Synthed out intro, an Elvis Costello on Steroids part, and a legit Refused style breakdown. Sometimes you need to write a song that ignores your cerebral creativity and is just fun to play and feels good to rock..Probably more than sometimes. I guess its our own balance of those things that has shaped our sound as band.. well.. ANY band really.

I know I'm not alone, but that doesn't make me feel any better or worse. Those of us on the North American continent are all just doing our 700-900 Mph rotation on the earth in space trying to get our get on. Could the centrifugal force just pull me out to space for a little bit? I gotta get back to the equator to max out the effect.

Peeeeeeaaaaace'd OUT.

1 comment:

Bandit Andrew said...

i feel you is way way to stressful to be enjoyed (at sometimes) I wish the weekends were longer so you could cerise the good times.

I am sooo stressed right now, my stomach has been hurting :/ but good luck with your stress.